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How Trauma Has Affected My Life
About a decade ago, my life was consumed by a whirlwind of chaos. I was a depressed and fractured person. Work was the most important thing in my life. I valued it over more important things, like my health and relationships. But I wasn’t always that way. Workaholism had slowly tightened its grip on me and turned me into a husk of my former self.
The amount of work I was putting into my career wasn’t paying off like it was in the beginning. I had climbed the ladder to the top–there were no more steps. I was stuck. My heart wanted freedom, but there was nowhere to go, or at least that’s what I believed at the time. Spiritually, I was suffocating. This all culminated in me having a mental breakdown.
This infographic, “How to Manage Trauma“, released by The National Council for Behavioral Health in 2022 defines trauma as “when a person is overwhelmed by events or circumstances and responds with intense fear, horror, and helplessness.” There’s a lot of information in it, but what stands out the most to me is that an estimated 223.4 million people in the U.S. had experienced trauma at the time, which was around 70% of the population. One of the coping strategies to help with trauma shown is to “[w]rite about your experience for yourself or to share with others”.
I believe trauma is something that can be the result of a specific incident, like witnessing an act of violence; or it may be a lot of “micro-traumatic” events that add up over time, eventually causing a person to experience a breakdown. The latter is what happened to me.
How Writing is Helping Me
Writing is Giving Me Something To Focus On
Writing is a simple process. That’s one of the reasons I’m drawn to it. But, it’s also hard… if you want to be good at it. Ironically, that’s another reason I’m drawn to it.
I can easily write something that I understand. But to make it flow well and structure it coherently–so that others might want to read it–is another story. That takes hard work and clear thinking.
In my experience, hard work (physical or intellectual) has a great capacity to heal. It gives us a healthy sense of control. And it brings us into the present moment. Hard work is meditation in that way. But just like anything, too much work can lead to imbalance. Like I had in my workaholic days.
Writing is Forcing Me To Structure My Thoughts
Having a way to work through my thoughts and make them more concrete takes a huge burden off of me. After a writing session, I will often be calmer than before–there’s a bit more clarity in my life.
For a while now, I haven’t been able to think as clearly as I used to. Admitting that is a little difficult for me. I have a big imagination. And I am often overwhelmed with thought. Writing allows me to sit down and figure out what I’m thinking and what I’m trying to say. And hopefully, structure it logically.
Structuring my thoughts through writing also has the unexpected benefit of helping me become a better speaker. Practicing writing equates to greater command over the English language. And higher-quality expressions of my needs, wants, and interests–helping me to be more confident.
Writing is Strengthening My Sense of Self
For a period, I found it difficult to express myself or connect with others as easily as I used to. Though I am a lot better now, I will still occasionally have powerful emotions that limit my ability to think clearly. Writing is helping me pick up the pieces.
It is allowing me to re-construct my sense of self and to remember who I am and what drives me. By taking the time to write, and more deeply understand what makes me tick, I can be more present with life and not spend so much time up in my head.
Summary
- I used to be a workaholic, it ruined my life and I’m still picking up the pieces. Workaholism is different than hard work, workaholism denotes imbalance. A workaholic places work above family, friendships, health, etc.
- I had a mental breakdown because of a whirlwind of “micro-traumatic” events that all added up.
- From a 2022 infographic called “How to Manage Trauma” released by The National Council for Behavioral Health, an estimated 70% of the U.S. population had experienced trauma at the time. That was around 223.4 million people.
- The infographic suggests writing about ourselves as a coping strategy to deal with trauma.
- Writing is giving me something to focus on. Hard, focused work is like meditation and has a great capacity to heal. Of course, too much work can lead to imbalance.
- Writing is forcing me to structure my thoughts. This has the benefit of helping me to communicate better, both verbally and in written form.
- There was a period where it was difficult to express myself or connect with others. I am a lot better now, but still have issues sometimes.
- Writing is allowing me to have a better sense of who I am and what drives me. Enabling me to be more present in my life.
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