I was recently laid off from a well-paid job as a Computer Scientist. But, instead of finding another job, I’ve decided to pursue my own ventures. I attempted something similar almost a decade ago. I ended up broke, depressed, and nearly homeless. I crashed on a friend’s couch and got back on my feet. It wasn’t the legendary windfall I was hoping for.
That difficult period changed me. It was a crash course in wisdom that I still reap rewards from. And, more significantly, something had roused within me. An inner voice began repeating a simple message: “You must be sovereign.” For anyone yet to experience a figurative face-plant in life, I highly recommend it.
I ignored it for a while and clung to debris from my past, but my inner voice was–as it still is–persistent. Sovereignty would mean a complete overhaul of my life. I would have to start making decisions my mind and heart agreed on, despite my chaotic inner world. More importantly, it meant becoming even more of a weirdo than I already was.
Eventually–maybe inevitably–my inner voice got louder. Nowadays, though I still spend time with loved ones, I spend a lot of time alone. In the quiet–I find a clarity that subtly weaves its way through my life–I become more sovereign. And a little more strange.
My life has more stability. I eat well, exercise, own a home, and have two–sometimes reliable–vehicles. Silence has become a friend of mine, and I’m grateful for all it’s brought into my life. I know it will work its magic as I move into the next chapter of my life. I will try to refrain from asking how.
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