I’m not sure how it started for me. But–somewhere along my way–I drank the juice. I got caught up in the endless cycle of attainment.
I fell for the trap of believing that I couldn’t have a peaceful life. That I needed to keep running. That I needed to get to that next promotion, or that next degree, or that next whatever.
That wolves were always at the door:
- Poverty
- Sickness
- Death
- Missing out
- Not keeping up
- Not fitting in
How I got caught in that I can’t say. I was a very independent person, or so I thought. I was a poet, musician, and generally creative person… I thought I was immune to the domesticated life… immune to falling for the trap of the rat race.
But I wasn’t immune. Fear sinks in slowly; it’s sly and patient.
And–like the frog that doesn’t notice that the water is getting warmer–one day you realize you’re in deep.
Your visions of a creative and interesting life seem unattainable.
That’s where I found myself back in 2017.
I was broken and suicidal.
Nothing seemed right.
It all seemed pointless and dark.
Looking back, I realized a lot of things:
- I have to create. Not being creative isn’t an option.
- I was stronger than I believed myself to be at the time.
- People have more power than they realize, but most don’t want to accept it.
- Mean people really do suck. And you have to ignore a lot of BS sometimes.
There’s a Way Out That’s Right for You
My advice to anyone struggling and feeling hopeless is:
- You’re not alone.
- Try to create something each day, or at least a few times a week… you will grow in unexpected ways.
- Get good at ignoring the naysayers.
- Find a quiet place (in your home, or elsewhere) to go regularly.
- Let your path unfold… it’s still there….trust me.
The darkness can’t last forever.
The light is more powerful, we just have to learn to let it in.
