This post is based on a vague fragment of thought that came to me recently while I was in the shower. A memory from my past flashed into my mind–as they often do during scrub-a-dub time–but this one was different. It had with it new implications–this one was… “A REALIZATION!”.
Within a fraction of a second, I gained a new perspective on my life. I was excited. I was quite prepared to take this realization and apply it to my presently expanding ego. And give myself a reward for being the recipient of a well-earned and great new personality–likely the greatest one to ever exist.
To be clear, the fragment of thought I referred to earlier was not the same as the realization. And that fragment, which was the real realization trickling in, is what this post is about.
I have watched the pendulum in my mind swing from realization to clinging (to the realization) many times in the past few years, so now I want to solidify my thoughts a little. So that I may save myself and maybe someone else some time along the path.
Coming to a deeper understanding of our inner world and the things that make us tick is (undeniably) an important step in personal growth. But, for seekers of higher–or more universal–truth, taking these realizations too seriously can be a trap.
Realizations about our past, like why our behavior or someone else’s was a certain way, often have a certain emotional residue. They arrive with an excitement that’s easy to get caught up in. They can lull us into a sense of pride that can become a new roadblock to our evolution.
We can say to ourselves “I understand the problem that’s caused me so much pain!” and cling to that. And when we do we’re playing this new game with our mind. Now we’re a person who has themselves and everyone else figured out. And unbeknownst to us, we’ve come up against a wall.
To break through, it’s important to understand that there’s nothing to hold on to. That’s what’s so scary for a person’s mind, at least at a certain stage. It’s a strange place to be because (conceptually) we can know that there’s no self to cling to, but we’re just not ready to let go. Our constructed identity can feel so normal to us, that we don’t see it for what it is; an apparition.
So, the only real course of action is to surrender these realizations, as hard as that can be to do. Though they may be signs that we’re resolving our unconscious issues, it’s important that we don’t attach ourselves to the bits of debris that are coming up. Otherwise, we will get distracted from the real goal, which is having a deep presence in the now. And all the unexpected positive ramifications that stem from that.
