Check out a video I made that’s related to this post here:
As I’ve let go of negativity more and more, I’ve come to what I believe is an important realization. I assume that it may be a realization or state of consciousness that many arrive at. I’ve begun to have more understanding and compassion for myself and others, in a way that is not just an intellectual exercise, but something that happens without much thought.
Lately, my ability to be compassionate has been far more immediate than in the past. I can let things roll off my back more immediately now. In the past I’ve struggled to let go of certain situations and have harbored lots of resentment. I now find that some events, that I perceive as negative, are simply let go, without much effort. Others, that seem to evoke repressed emotional energy, I may have to work at little still.
Compassion Ends the Blame Game
My first instinct when I started trying to have a deeper understanding of why I am the way I am, and why others are the way they are, was to blame society or my culture. While there may be some truth in that idea, that way of thinking seems to be just another dead end road. I’ve concluded that the need to blame is an energy sink, and a waste of time. When someone is doing something I discern as wrong, I often try to place myself in their shoes, and sometimes I gain insight into the situation. But often, placing myself in their shoes is another waste of time. I know I can never truly understand how someone else sees the world, or why they may behave the way they do.
In short, compassion without intellectual understanding seems to be the simplest method of dealing with the behavior of myself or others. I am at a stage where I accept that I may never intellectually understand my behavior or that of others and that’s okay. This acceptance takes a huge burden off of me as I do not have to understand society. And maybe I am just sticking my head in the sand — but it’s not out of fear, other than perhaps fear of being distracted from more wholesome and positive things in life.
Compassion is Powerful
Developing and practicing self-compassion helps me to process negative emotions more quickly, which brings about a host of benefits. For instance, I can gain wisdom. As I allow negative emotion to pass, I often gain some insight about myself. It also enables me to be more clear headed, positive, and creative; as I’m no longer carrying around the weight of that negativity.
Being able to process negativity and extract the wisdom from a situation quickly means I am less of a conduit for negativity. Or in other words, I am no longer adding negativity to a society already deeply steeped in it. I can show up to life with a positive and creative attitude. I can also look at myself and be more okay with who I am. And I’m able to be of better service to others, even if that just means I can listen a little better and have a little bit more of an open heart for them. In this way, self-compassion leads to compassion for others.
A Quick Meditation Exercise on Self-Compassion
I have a lot of stubborn subconscious negative emotions. They show up often as anxiety or even anger, or as a general feeling of sadness or depression. On the other hand, self-compassion shows up for me as patience with myself, and as courage to face my darker aspects. It also shows up as trust, as in trusting my body to re-integrate negative emotional energy. It has become my go to tool for letting go of negative emotions.
Lately, when I sit in my daily meditations I make sure that I am gently and constantly breathing in and out. This helps to get my normal thought patterns to subside, so that emotions can come up more easily. I find the breathing to be extremely important here.
Often, I will have a memory from the past float up. I will then ask the question “What, if anything, do you need to tell me?”. Sometimes I will then have more memories pop up. Often these will be related to the initial memory, but sometimes they will seem completely unrelated — at least on the surface. Sometimes they seem unrelated, but they are actually tangential to the original memory; and are part of a similar emotional pattern. Either way, when this trickling of memory starts, I continue moving my breath constantly so that the emotion continues to come up out of my subconscious.
If a particularly troubling memory comes up I will go into it with an attitude of understanding and compassion and perhaps change the memory in some way to be more positive or communicate with my past self in a compassionate, understanding, and perhaps protective way; depending on the situation.
Here is a quick summary of my self-compassion meditation:
| Goal | Release Negativity, Gain Wisdom and Clarity |
| Time | 10 Minutes |
| Breathing | Gentle and constant. The inhalation and exhale being around 3 seconds each with as little pausing as possible between inhalation and exhalation. The breath is very important here, it subdues the thinking mind slightly, which allows emotions to arise more easily. |
| Inquiry | If a memory arises, ask “What, if anything, do you need to tell me?”. The goal here is to establish deeper trust with ourselves and ultimately release negativity and reintegrate it to improve our lives. |
| Notes | Patience is key. If possible go into any emotionally charged memories with a sense of “invincibility” if necessary. You are going into the memory as an agent of positive change. |
Doing a “Negativity Burn” before doing a “Self-Compassion Meditation” will enhance your experience and the progress you make. Check out a post of mine on negativity burning here:
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